Well ... What Would You Have Done?

Exhausted! This would seem like one of those things that most mom's could relate to ... the nights and way too early mornings when your baby decides that sleep is not necessary for anyone. I know I have written on my struggle with little to no sleep before (See here and here and here). So I won't repeat what I have already berated on and on about in my other posts. Let's just say, I should have learned by now that this is an indication of something worse on the way. Gracen has yet ANOTHER cold, which I hope is short-lived and not passed around AGAIN.

However, I don't believe I have introduced you to my ... interesting ... neighbors. With new management in our complex came new neighbors. I fully understand that she was commissioned to fill apartments, which she has done very well. However, I truly believe that apartment complexes should be planned regarding neighbors' lifestyle needs. Ok ... I might believe this purely out of reaction to my new and unusual neighbors. I know I can't always be choosy about who lives next door, but I think that the manager might want to at least find out if the upstairs people are going to have atypical awake and asleep hours to help out us "typical" neighbors.

Let's get legal ... Of what I understand, the law articulates "quiet hours" being around 11 pm. I'm pretty sure this is when my neighbors' awake hours are in full swing. I happen to know that two of the four of them work in restaurants, which gets them home between midnight and two in the morning. The other two ... I can only venture to imagine what they do for work. All I know is that I have regularly heard them walking around at two to five in the morning (only because I am up with a sleepless infant). This walking, while annoying, does not constitute a call to the manager. So, why am I even talking about this? Well ...

If it were merely walking, I wouldn't be posting about them. I would simply keep my mouth shut and put in my earplugs when needed. The thing is that on more than a handful of occasions we have heard far more than walking. Some of the usual noises: TV (again, not so bad), an occasional argument (still somewhat normal, considering their hours), love-making (yep ...), vacuuming, including the kitchen floor (getting more than annoying), loud music at 4:30 in the morning right over the kids room, etc. I think the only time we said anything to the managers was when the "party" lasted all night. We've endured it for almost 8 months now, and we really didn't mind it all that much. We would just occasionally gripe about it to each other and then dream of when we could move.

You know where I'm going by now ... Last night was exceptional. I knew I had heard a sanding machine one evening not too long ago. I also saw some furniture being finished outside by apartment. Still seemed like normal stuff to me ... Until last night at around midnight Tim and I were awakened by some banging and thudding that could not be mistaken. They were doing some level of construction right above our bedroom and the kids' room. I could only speculate that they were hanging something on the wall or building some new, large piece of furniture. We attempted to ignore it and go back to sleep, but it continued to get louder and moved around the house to include their bathroom and again right over the kids' room.

The point where we decided it had gone on long enough was when an unusually loud thud woke both the kids and then continued on for another half hour. A couple of things made this activity exceptionally aggravating. One ... Tim had an early wake-up time ... and, two ... as I stated above ... I was surviving on very little sleep from the night before. We ALL needed sleep. With no end in sight, we discussed our options. I was really close to going up there and letting them know that they needed to choose a better time for these kinds of projects, however, my nerves and suspicion took over and I decided that I was frustrated enough to call the manager. Still not sure I that I had made the right decision, I let her know that I was sorry to be calling her on the "maintenance emergency" line, but that our exotic neighbors were doing some sort of construction project right above our rooms and I could no longer bear the noise, besides the fact they had waken our entire household.

She seemed understandably annoyed, but let me know that she would be calling security to come and deal with it. I thanked her, and hung up. While waiting to know if security would be helpful or not, I replayed half the conversations I have had with our manager. I started stressing out that I was becoming "THAT" tenant ... The complaining one ... The one that the manager simply begins to ignore due to the MANY requests, complaints, etc. We had asked for her to fix several things left undone by the previous management; fix the call box, since no one could call us to be let in; to fix the call box again, since even if people could call in, we couldn't let them in; to fix a leak somewhere in our kitchen that had been perpetually flooding our floor from underneath for two months (I had called by the end of what could only be the first week); to get me some paint, since painting the new baseboards was forgotten; and now about these bothersome neighbors at one in the morning. The only thing that I called about that I genuinely believe was not a negative, was when I politely requested new sliding doors for our closets so that my kids couldn't pinch their fingers in the old folding ones. It only took three months to get them, but I genuinely was patient and didn't mind waiting.

Finally, Tim heard the security guy and looked out to see if he could talk to him. Turns out that while the security officer did "bang on the door three times," they never answered. I could still hear them, but noticed a break in the noise. He told us to call them directly if we needed them again and/or call the police (going back to that whole "law" thing). He was genuinely gracious and after hearing that the neighbors refused to answer their door, I felt less guilty about calling the management instead of talking to them myself. They wouldn't have answered the door anyway. Once the security guy left, we heard more banging around, but realized they had gotten the hint and were putting things away. We were all back to sleep around 1:30 am. Of course, I was up again around 2:30 and again at 6:50 (this was my wake-up call).

So ... I throw out the question to anyone who wants to respond ... What would you have done in our position? I can take it ... I think. I know I was sleepy and that could make anyone cranky, but ... well ... tell me what you think.

Ok ... Not "Tomorrow" - AKA - 2010 Resolutions

Well, as you have noticed, I waited longer than "tomorrow" to post my 2010 resolutions. January turned into a really busy and soul searching month that I will not begin to explain in this forum at this time. But a recap should give you some idea ...

Besides the holidays, there was the holiday cleanup, Gracen's ear infection (the first of one of my children to get one), re-figuring my weekly routine, doing my "spring cleaning" in January, and finally Mercy getting the stomach flu. Yay! Not little stuff, which left me little time or energy to share my "resolutions" with you all.

So, without further ado, here we go ...

1. Read and pray even more. I have already started on this and have noticed a great deal of daily wisdom already being added to my life. It's great. Here's hoping I continue to find the joy in this one.

2. Move. This is going to be a work in progress for some time. Please pray that we stay patient in this process.

3. Eat healthier. Ok, some of you may think, "why, when you've already lost the baby weight?" First of all, for those of you who hate me openly or secretly for this feat, please know that there was no real magic or trick I learned along the way. The best thing I did to lose weight was to have a hungry hungry baby who still nurses every two hours. This is a blessing and not one that I think all of you should run out and have babies to attain. Plus, I do, generally, try to avoid the "bad" carbs. But if you've been around me since Thanksgiving, I have given myself a lot of leeway on my "diet" and have indulged in a lot more sweets than I really should. Plus, Gracen will not be nursing forever, so I need to get back to my healthy eating now, rather than later when the habit is even more embedded in my routine. Back to low carb, whole grains, and lots of vegis for me. I really don't mind this kind of eating, it just takes more discipline than I have had for the last 3 months.

4. MORE CAMPING. Tim and I have learned to really love this kind of traveling. After our many cruises, we have found that the more planned and "all inclusive" we can make camping the better. For instance, we have pre-packed quite a few things so that if we decide last minute to head to the cabin in Big Bear (courtesy of family friends) or head to the beach, we can with little effort regarding gear, etc. We have learned to do less shopping until we get to the location and have enjoyed a much smoother process as we have tried and tried again. We love it and hope to keep on doing it. PLUS ... we are looking at motor-homes to see if that will be our new way of continuing the fun.

5. Shop online more. Tim has opened my eyes to the value both time-wise and savings-wise of shopping the deals online. Half of the kids Christmas presents were ordered online, saving us about $200 for the toys/movies/clothes. I hope to find more deals and share them with you.

6. More family time. I had to vacate my apartment for almost an entire week in December (worst timing EVER) to have new floors put in our kitchen due to flooding. During that time, we spent most of the week with Tim's grandparents. It happened to be a critical time for them as well. Grandma had fell and broke her jaw and Grandpa caught a cold that turned into Bronchitis. My time with them was spent caring for them and helping around their home. The bonus was that the kids had extra time to spend there and enjoy their Great-Grandparents. I realized that I would like to do that again and more regularly. So, my goal is to fit in one day a week, or at least every other week, to go and help them with chores and let the kids have time to play there. We have already added a regular time with Tim's parents to our week and I try to meet up with Danielle (my sis) every other week (she may not have noticed this yet, but I do). So, I have started the process and hope to continue this throughout the year and longer.

6. Take the kids outside more often. With the weather having been so chaotic lately, I have yet to move on this one, but when I can, I would like to get them to a park or friend's house for more outside time. We are pretty limited in our complex to allow outside time, but I know they need it and love it, so please pray for me here as well.

So ... There you go. My goals for 2010.

As for blogging, It would have been added to my list, but I wanted to be realistic, and right now, I still am not sure how to regularly add this to my day. But, don't worry. If it's stinking hilarious or super interesting or even just a vent session, I'll be here.

So ... The Holidays

I must admit - and I might offend even my dearest friends in saying this - but I really do not find it entertaining to read a blog post about someone's holiday "adventures" unless it truly makes me LOL (my attempt to be current in my tech speak). I like to hear in person about someone's holiday activities, but I'd rather read something that is funny or a twist to the usual, "so, I went to my mom's and then my dad's and then my sister had to cook turkey, AGAIN!"

And, I might add, that since this year's holidays were rather trying for me and I don't want to relive the chaos, I will hold fast to my opinion and not rehash the insanely fast and furious holiday happenings of the Jackson clan. If you must know ... ask me when you see me next. Instead, I will say that they went by more quickly than I wished, and since this last Christmas was not one of my favorite years, I would rather move on to the New Year's resolutions and whatnot.

Ok ... I must make mention of my son's first Christmas being not everything it was for Mercy. First of all, Gracen was sick with a cold and cutting a tooth (blood-blister included) all at once. But then there was the whole Family Christmas event that this year included three more little ones, mine included. Christmas Day was so much more relaxing than year's past. The annual cooking, which I love, and then the Yatzee game that lasts until dark. Still, it was hard to escape that my little man was under the whether, which eventually turned into an ear infection ... the first between my two kids, which makes me think he'll take after me ... I get them all the time.

Last year I listed what I accomplished the prior year and then what I hoped to accomplish in 2009. This year I will review what I said I would do ... Ha ... and whether or not it was accomplished, and then list my resolutions for 2010 tomorrow. A new decade. Whoa!

2009

• I will go through all closets and give to a needy family anything that I don't wear, use, etc. Accomplished, but only at a snails pace. This means, I have to do it all over again.
  
• I will read and pray more. Well I definitely prayed more. Reading has still been a difficulty. Hey! Don't judge me. I mean ... you haven't seen me blog much either, so I would say reading and blogging are also on my list for next year ... assuming I regain the time I need to do them (my disclaimer).
• I will have another baby (a BOY) This was inevitable. The kid had had to come out one way or another. Still, learning to manage a second baby and a boy to boot, was definitely an accomplishment I will allow myself to relish in ... even if I still have a long way to go.
  
• I will learn what it means to juggle an infant and a toddler, oh ... and all the house stuff too. Ok ... not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but definitely better. I can say that I have stopped crying ... most days ... and really can run my errands as needed. I just have to time them right and make sure they only take me two hours at a time. Mercy has been a trooper! I will thank her later for this ... when she is old enough to not ask, "But why?"
  
• I will hopefully move (this one I count as tentative, but truly a hope) NOPE ... Not yet. Keep praying.
  
• I will take Mercy to the park more. I tried. I really did. With the extreme heat and then Gracen needing to eat more often than Mercy did, and with all the friends who had crazy schedules and additional babies of their own, this one worked for the first half of the year, but by September, it had all but ended. I will try again.
  
• I will get another Disneyland Annual Pass (ok ... this is more of a hope). We did it!!! Thanks to Disney for creating a payment plan.
  
• I will go camping as much as possible Only made it out one week, but we did get to go to a cabin in Big Bear twice, and a wonderful trip to Colorado where we stayed at a cabin right on a small river. We went fishing everyday and had a blast with the Padilla's (Tim's sister's family). Thanks Ronnie and Sue.
  
• I will be a better version of me. Still feel like I didn't do this part very well. I suppose if you see it as a huge transitional year for us, than you may forgive me for not fully achieving this one. I will add that having a new little one to care for and a particularly intense two-year-old made "me time" near impossible. I keep repeating to myself, "It's only for a season." This is my mantra ... which I fully believe in and will grow past ... eventually. In the mean time, this one, too, stays on my list.

As for what's on the list for 2010 ... check back tomorrow, when I will have a little more energy to clarify why my list didn't change much.

Rachael Ray vs. Martha Stewart

Not that long ago, Martha Stewart not so subtly insulted Rachael Ray's untrained domestic and cooking abilities. She made it pretty clear that Rachael Ray's lack of education in the culinary arts made her rather simple and unsophisticated. I must admit that there was a time when I would have agreed with Martha. Don't misunderstand ... I am not a trained chef or a "domestic diva", but I was all about watching Martha Stewart on TV and fancied myself a self-learned gourmet. Once motherhood hit, I started to understand and highly appreciate the art of quick cooking, short-cuts and homemade fast-food. Rachael Ray certainly appeals to those like myself who either have little time to cook or have screaming toddlers/crawlers who commandeer most of the day.

About a year ago, I received a subscription to Rachael Ray's "Everyday" Magazine as a gift for Christmas. At first, I was like, "OK ... so I'll be polite and all, but I refuse to let Rachael Ray into my life." She really did irritate me at one point. Her overly bubbly personality really made my face turn red in embarrassment for her. My snobbishness had not yet waned and, even after Martha's very public conviction for inadvertent insider trading (ya ... right), I refused to let myself be anything less than a "homemade gourmet". Now, I must admit I LOVE RACHAEL RAY! Well ... kind of. I love her magazine. I really like her recipes, and I really like getting this magazine every month. I like it so much that the subscription was renewed for my birthday and I get a whole new year of Rachael Ray! I haven't looked at a Martha Stewart magazine in years and don't plan on it. I don't have the time or energy to even start her methods of madness. I barely keep up with the basics, which makes Rachael Ray a perfect match for me. I can still feel like a "homemade gourmet" when in reality, I grabbed a bunch of crap from my pantry and threw it in a pot. My husband likes those meals better than when I spend hours figuring out a new way to serve chicken or pork with vegi's.

Today I got the most recent Rachael Ray "Everyday" magazine and seriously laughed out loud when I read a quote by Lisa Lampanelli (February 2010, page 37). She was speaking of her Valentine's Day plans this year and said, "My new fiance wants to wine and dine me ... That's sweet and all ... Let's go to a cigar bar, smoke stogies and talk smack about people. That's what I call romance." For those who know me, it might surprise you, but I think she is speaking my language. Deep down inside, I really just want to have a good laugh and let loose my secret dark side.

So ... Lesson Learned?: Rachael Ray is a multi-millionnaire who took on the "Domestic Diva" and in my opinion WON! She is more "real" than Martha will ever be. Rachael Ray will die knowing that she had a great time living instead of worrying over the details of what she forgot to put on her table for Christmas dinner this year. I can't say I know Rachael Ray's religious affiliation, but I think Sandals would be a home away from home for her ... open invite here.

Still Alive!!!

Yet again, my life took a turn that prevented me from being able to keep up with writing. Writing is a great way for me to communicate what funny, crazy, boring and tough life lessons I face. I do have a good excuse, so I hope you will stick around to hear me out.

About 3 weeks ago, I finally bought Mercy her Big Girl Bed. (You're probably saying that it has been much longer than 3 weeks since my last post. I know, I know. But really, this is an example of how things have been going for some time now.) We have been meaning to buy Mercy's bed since her birthday, but for some legitimate and frustrating reasons, we kept putting it off. This also meant that Gracen has spent an extra 3 months in our room. It was convenient for a while, but became a problem when he outgrew his bassinet and we had to put him in the pack-n-play.

We wanted to give Mercy some time to adjust to her new "big-girl" bed before moving Gracen in. Based on her transition when we turned her crib into a daybed, we thought it would be a pretty rough week. Not so. In fact, she hasn't slept better. YAY!!

Right after the big-girl bed transition was complete, my dad came for a quick visit to meet Gracen and see his girls (all 4 of us live down here). He stayed only a couple of days, but while he was down here, he unfortunately caught and passed along a heck of a cold. Sure enough, one ... no, two ... hold up, all four of us got the cold. Gracen and I were the first to show signs and it hit us like 4 tons of bricks. We had to sleep propped up together, me praying the whole 3 nights he wouldn't roll off the bed. Gracious Tim slept on the couch and Mercy "seemed" to be fine. Until the following Tuesday (5 days later). She ended up with the coughing version of the cold. And then a week and a half later, Tim got the one Gracen and I had. YUCK!

There was no escaping it. In order to make sure no one else got it, we mostly stayed home. I felt like I was quarantined. No friends for the kids or me. I tried a couple of times to get out with Tim or a friend here and there, but no good. We were all miserable when we tried. I also found that I was far more fatigued than usual ... duh! Which meant I also had no brain power to add writing to my survival mode. Now that I am mostly better, I find writing a great relief and hope to keep up with it for a while.

With that said ... HI! I'm back.

Lesson Learned: How does a mom take care of a sick child when she herself is sick? No really ... HOW? Still don't know. I hoped and prayed for more help, but sometimes others are in the same boat as you and we are left to figure it out, one hour at a time.

Ugly Mom

Ever get that "ugly mom" feeling? You know ... you feel like nothing in your closet could make you feel pretty, you feel like two showers are not enough, let alone possible, your hair couldn't get funkier, and spit-up is your new perfume. Today ... really yesterday since I am writing this at 3 in the morning ... was that day.

I woke up as usual to a hungry infant and a 2-year-old ready to play house. Nothing unusual or different. I made plans to take our truck in for an oil change. Again, nothing really out of the ordinary. And then it seems that my 2-year-old decided that her good mood that she has had for the last two weeks was just a cover. I had set her up to watch a little "Horton" on my computer with headphones, which she loved. She was instructed to "just watch" and not touch any buttons. I was patient with her lack of memory for about ... oh ... 4 button pushes, but then she started to outright ignore me. She seems to have perfected the teenage blank stare of "what"? She even says it! So I give her one more chance to shape up or no more Horton. She aparently thought I was kidding. So, I calmly say, "OK. No more Horton." Calmly may be my version of the story. She may have seen it differently. Anyway, I take the computer away. I figured it wouldn't be that big of a deal. She had taken the headphones off several minutes before and was now, quite literally, pushing my buttons for the pure sake of seeing if I would react. Her response was to scream with fists clinched and face red. Ok ... so not that unusual of a 2-year-old reaction. Still frustrating, though. So I "calmly" send her to her room for a time out. Thinking that she would come out ready to be "good" for the rest of the day was apparently a lot to ask. She decided to respond to all my efforts of discipline today, with either screaming or "what?" or outright ignoring me. AAAAAHHHHHHHH!

My infant also didn't have the best of days. He had shots on Monday, which made him cranky for the rest of that day, and then feverish on Tuesday. He was still a bit cranky today, but better. Instead, he spat up all day. Of course almost all of it landed on me. This was the icing to my ugly mom day.

So my nerves were frayed and my patience tested. I would have liked someone to commiserate with me, but plans had been made several days ago for Tim to go with his good friend to a show in L.A. for the evening, while I was supposed to be with my friends. My plans fell away due to several friends needing to bow out. I usually would have no problem with this turn of events. A quiet night at home (at least after the kids are in bed), watching my guilty pleasures on T.V. while eating a naughty treat in bed. Sometimes I'll throw in a long shower, but for some reason I didn't think that it would help tonight. My "ugly mom" feelings could not be washed away. Instead, I stewed about my bad day, resentfully wishing that Tim had offered to stay home with me or to take me with him. It didn't help that he texted me "hello's" from other friends that I had no idea would be there. It's really not his fault that my night turned out so bad. How could he have known? Still, the mind of a tired, frustrated and ugly mom is a hard thing to contend with.

So, here I sit at 3:30am, venting my frustrations so that maybe I can sleep a few hours tonight, amazed that my son who wakes me every other night at around 2am has still not woken for his midnight snack, which only frustrates me more because I know he'll wait until I am just about to drift off...

Ok. So I'm a bit of a cry baby tonight. Mercy and I prayed for a better day tomorrow. I really do hope that God helps me with this, considering my lack of sleep will hit me sooner rather than later.

There's Gracen! Gotta go.

Summer Wrap-up

This last summer felt like summers from my teenage years. Vacations, beach trips, ice cream, and lots of play time. While exhausting, it sure was fun! Some more things we did this summer ...

• We went to Estes Park Colorado (just outside Denver ... which is huge, by the way) where we visited with loved family and went to see the hotel where The Shining was filmed.
  
• I had two whole weekends of birthday fun. How lucky am I! We went to Disneyland, the San Diego Zoo, and the beach on my actual birthday weekend and then headed to a vineyard in Temecula for a childless getaway (more details later in this post).
• Tim and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary! Next year is a big one, so off to EUROPE!! YAY!!!
• We enjoyed the opening day of College Football ... a sort of holiday in this family (and the Lamberth's too).
• And finally ... we celebrated about 8 family and friends' birthdays, which makes for a crazy August!

Here's a photo to sum up the second half of my summer:


As the summer winds down (officially September 20th), I am glad to have my days back to "normal". My "schedule" of sorts has been jeopardized by all the fun we have had, but I really do like and enjoy a routine. I like knowing what each day's chores/activities will be. The thing is, with all this renewed energy and time, I find I am at a loss as to which project I should focus on first. My project lists include:

1. Moving Gracen into Mercy's room ... no longer just her room ... which includes the following: finishing the bedding for Gracen's crib, taking down all wall art, getting the couch in the room to a friend's house for safe keeping, buying a new bed and bedding for Mercy, and finally reorganizing the room to fit Gracen and all kid stuff while keeping a few office items in there as well. WHEW! A lot to do just for this project.
2. A deep cleaning of all rooms. Some people do this in the Spring ... I was 9 months pregnant and ordered not to do any heavy housework. Fall it is!
3. Go through and give away all clothes that do not fit or we don't wear. This project is a lot easier to do, but I keep avoiding it.
4. Get reorganized ... meaning: weekly schedule, home decor, and both bedrooms ... so that all is quick, easy and touched once. This one will be fun for me, but hard too.
5. Finally ... I want and ask all to pray for me to get in God's Word daily. I do have ways of getting His Word sometimes throughout the week, but I want more time. I know all the benefits of doing this, but it seems lately I barely have time to breath before I roll into bed each night, and then I find it nearly impossible to get up before my kids do. Nap times still vary for Gracen, so maybe pray for him to get on a regular nap schedule so I can do it while both kids are asleep.
   

So ... This is what I am up to and have been doing during my absence from this blog. I would apologize, but I won't because it was worth the time spent with my family to not do this. Now that life is back to "normal" I can keep this updated as well.

Lesson Learned: Blogging comes second to family time ... always!

P.S. - Mercy is Potty Trained! YAY! Almost perfect at it after a week of doing it. She ROCKS!!!

Summer Update

Since my last post ...

• We went camping at the beach with good friends for a week.
  
• Tim and I have celebrated our 9th Wedding Anniversary.
• Gracen has gained another pound or so, making him a hefty 16+ pounds.
  
• Mercy has settled into being 2 and all that defines '2'.
• We are preparing for a busy August of travel and many family birthdays.
• We have had a lot of family bonding time.

All of which I will happily blog about in more detail later, but for now, it's just a brief update of the happenings for the Jackson family. I've taken some pretty fun pictures that I can't wait to share, but with a big trip to prepare for and a busy month ahead, I will have to share them as a "Summer Wind-up" post. For now ... here's a picture that essentially depicts the great fun we have had so far:

Just combine camping, dirt and bubbles and ... voila!

The Best Zurburts

Mercy loves to give and receive Zurburts. You know ... the farty sounds that you make when connecting mouth to belly and blowing. This post falls inline with my last post where I talk about Mercy playing with her brother so sweetly, only this time it is less girly and more neutral. He'll get her back someday. In the meantime, enjoy the video ... and excuse the part where I have to save my daughter from toppling off the couch. She is not the most balanced kid.

A Man's Man ...

It takes a real man to let his sister decorate his face with My Little Pony stickers. My son will have to reach into his soul to maintain his manhood right now as he has inheritted many of his big sister's toys. Not only do we make him use the very pink bouncer when we need to let him sit without mommy, but we let his sister decorate him with pink stickers. I am sure his therapist will hear all about our disastrous parenting in 20 years. Still, what do you expect a two-year-old girl who loves stickers, dolls and bows to do when you ask her to "play with her brother." I am just thankful that she really enjoys her brother ... so far ... and he seems to get a kick out of her too.